"I wasn't hearing what they were saying to me. It was unreal, surreal, it wasn't happening to me. It was as if I was in a drama."
These are the words of the former presenter, fashion icon and alternative therapist, Heulwen Haf, as she recalls the moment last May when she was told that she had an unusual and aggressive breast cancer.
As this devastating news slowly sank into her brain, she decided that a good step to take would be to make a TV documentary following her journey through her treatment, in the hope that that would give comfort and strength to anyone else facing a similar experience.
The result of her decision is the documentary Blodyn Haul: Stori Heulwen Haf (Sunflower: Heulwen Haf's Story) which is being broadcast this week on S4C as part of a month of raising awareness of breast cancer. In the programme, we follow Heulwen on each step of the way, and share the tears as well as the laughter.
"I didn't know what was going to happen to me, but I told the production crew that they had to carry on whatever happened in order to record it all," says Heulwen, who comes originally from Corwen but now lives in Cardiff.
The crew filmed with her over a period of a year, and we follow her though chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments, and her eventual mastectomy.
As a person who has an interest in alternative therapies, Heulwen meditates every day. Thinking about a Sunflower during her meditation has helped her.
"I saw the Sunflower growing in my breast, and black seeds inside the flower being pulled out by a bird such as the blue tit, or a humming bird. I felt that healing would happen, and that has given me incredible strength. I knew that the Sunflower would keep me safe."
© 2012 S4C
O Gymru / Made in Wales